Chris frequently reminds us of a simple yet profound thought:

"I see you. I hear you. You matter."

At first glance, those words may sound warm or inspirational. In reality, they reflect one of the most enduring principles found across psychology, leadership, education, and human relationships: people have a fundamental need to be recognized.

That idea has been with me for a very long time.

In 1967, while beginning my career as a young third-grade teacher, I noticed a book on a shelf with the curious title, I'm OK – You're OK by Thomas A. Harris.

My immediate reaction was, "Of course I'm OK!"

So I didn't read it.

Years later I finally opened the book, and it became one of those works that quietly changes the way you understand people. It introduced me to the growing field of Transactional Analysis, developed by Eric Berne, and to a remarkably practical way of understanding human interaction.

One of Berne's most valuable ideas was that people require recognition. He called these units of recognition 'strokes'. Every person hungers to know they have been noticed—that they exist in another person's awareness. Positive strokes nourish us. Negative strokes can hurt us. Yet Berne observed something fascinating: many people would rather receive negative recognition than no recognition at all.

Think about that for a moment.

Being ignored is often more painful than being criticized.

That insight takes on an entirely new dimension when viewed through a remarkable greeting from the Zulu people of southern Africa.

The greeting is Sawubona (pronounced sa-woo-BOH-na).

Literally translated, it means:

"I see you."

The traditional response is Ngikhona (pronounced nee-ghee-KOH-na), commonly translated as:

"I am here."

Some scholars expand the meaning to something even more profound:

"I exist because you see me."

Whether interpreted literally or poetically, the exchange communicates something extraordinary. Before discussing business, solving problems, or exchanging information, two people first acknowledge one another's humanity.

"I recognize you."

"I acknowledge your presence."

"You matter."

That is far more than a greeting.

It is a philosophy of relationship.

The same principle appears repeatedly throughout modern psychology.

Psychologist Carl Rogers believed that people grow best when they experience genuine empathy, authenticity, and unconditional positive regard. Long before neuroscience began explaining social connection, Rogers understood that people flourish when they feel deeply understood.

Philosopher Martin Buber described the highest form of human relationship as the I–Thou encounter, where another person is treated not as an object to be used, but as a unique individual worthy of respect.

Each of these perspectives’ points in the same direction.

People want to be seen.

This principle reaches well beyond psychology. It explains much of what separates exceptional leaders, teachers, parents, coaches, and sales professionals from average ones.

In sales, prospects rarely buy because they have been overwhelmed with product knowledge. They buy because they believe someone genuinely understands their situation.

In leadership, employees seldom leave organizations simply because of compensation. More often, they disengage because they feel invisible—unheard, unappreciated, or misunderstood.

People check out of conversations long before they check out of organizations.

Notice something interesting about Chris's familiar statement:

"I see you. I hear you. You matter."

Strictly speaking, the Zulu word Sawubona means "I see you." It does not literally include the words "I hear you."

Yet hearing naturally follows seeing.

When we truly see another person—not merely notice them but recognize their experience—we begin to listen differently. We ask better questions. We become curious instead of persuasive. We seek understanding before offering solutions.

Perhaps that is why this simple greeting resonates so strongly across cultures and disciplines.

Recognition precedes influence.

Connection precedes persuasion.

Understanding precedes trust.

Whether we call it Sawubona, Transactional Analysis, empathic understanding, or the I–Thou relationship, the message remains remarkably consistent.

Every human being carries an unspoken question:

"Do you see me?"

The people who answer that question well become the people others choose to follow, trust, buy from, and remember.